Loving yourself means serving yourself

A while ago I made some posts on the topic of the importance of loving oneself, and made other comparisons between the Service to Self and Service to Others mentality.

When a person has started to value themselves and to serve themselves first and foremost, there is a natural shift in their attitude that follows.  They would treasure their own limited time and effort, and would be more likely to question the things they’ve previously done out of obligation, desire to appear nice, social approval or whatever other reasons – They would ask “What’s in it for me?” and in the process, a lot of junk gets cut out of their mind and their life.

At this point, some other people may very well waggle their fingers and proclaim, “Aha!  You are now selfish!  Bad!”

selfishHowever, serving oneself is more than a black and white matter of “being selfish” or being a cartoon-like stereotype that’s twirling their mustache in a dark room, seeking to profit off of humanity at every opportunity.  Valuing yourself and being self serving means becoming responsible for your own actions, and to always seek to improve and benefit yourself through both diligent actions and introspection – in every aspect of your life, from your career down to your personal hygiene.

The following is a wonderful essay by an anonymous gentleman from 4chan that goes into more details on how a “selfish” mindset is utilized to improve one’s life.  It is a lot more succinct than what I can manage to write on this topic, and for your pleasure it is listed below:

You need to become self-interested.

The world currently suffers from a culture of “nice”. Don’t do better than your peers, cause it wouldn’t be nice. Don’t rock the boat, cause it wouldn’t be nice. Don’t fight back, cause it would be mean and thus not nice.

What you need to start doing is thinking basically like a business man. is the juice worth the squeeze in any thing you do. Helping one of your “friends” move. Is he worth it. Is he a good person. Do you like him? What has he done for you? Etc. Your time has value and when you start putting a price on it you will very quickly see who the ones are who do not care about you and the ones who do. You will find that number is very low.

Secondly, stop with the defeatist attitude. If you’ve ever read the book a fighters mind by Sam Sheridan you know what I am talking about. People who succeed in life don’t agonize over their problems, they focus on things that they can do to improve their situation. You need to read up on the OODA Loop. Observe, orient, decide, act. Observe your problem, orient your life toward how to solve the problem, decide on the best solution, and act accordingly, then repeat. Stop being paralyzed by analysis and start acting and deciding, or else you will forever remain in the state where you die by the thousand cuts of minor inconveniences.

Thirdly, value. You need to start treating yourself like you respect yourself. Good posture. Good well tailored clothing. A well-kept apartment and clean powerful language. Every action you take you should ask, “would a person who respects himself really do this?”

Finally, vet people and everything around you. The things that you allow in your life will ultimately advance or hinder you. Be very careful, be hyper judgemental, and if they aren’t up to your standards then toss them aside. This goes the same way with thoughts, ways of thinking, etc.

Now I’ll tell you what’s going to happen.

You are going to read this advice and you know what will happen? You will forget. You’ll get really motivated for a day or two, or even a week, and then it’ll start getting hard, or start getting difficult, or you will get distracted, and then you’ll be right back here to bitching, only this time a year will pass and nothing has changed.

You need to ask yourself if you want to feel good or if you want to get results. If you want to get results, you need to create concrete, tangible goals to work toward with intermediate steps and an overall end game. You need to focus, plan, and discipline yourself. Motivation is for faggots.

For example: You want to increase your value. Why: Life is easier when you look attractive and have value.

How do you increase your value? Being fit is one. How do you define being fit? xy and z. What’s the height and weight? How much lifting does it mean? How far do you have to run? What do you have to eat? How do I find it out? What are some resources I can use. By what time should I accomplish it? How much time do I have to give?

The more you plan and the more detailed the plan is the better your chances of success.

And finally, you must hold yourself 100% accountable and be 100% honest with yourself. The more you lie and the more you shift responsibility towards others the more difficult the journey toward self-improvement and a better life will be.

Every time you get screwed over at work, don’t think “Wow fuck Jim, he’s an asshole. If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t be in trouble”. Instead it should be “wow, I got screwed by Jim. What did I do wrong and how can I prevent it from happening again? Do I stop associating with Jim? Do I explain he’s an asshole? Do I not work near him in the future? etc.”

My girlfriend cheated on me with my best friend. “Wow, they are such shitty people” rather than “Okay, I let shitty people into my life. What can I do to make sure that it never happens again? What behaviors do I need to change to make sure that if she wanted to cheat or he wanted to screw me he would choose not to do so? What are the signs and symptoms of disloyal people? etc.”

And finally, hold everyone around you to the standards of an adult. No bitching, no whining. If you have a problem that means you created a problem or chose to ignore a problem, and you are an adult. You can fix it.

Original screen cap:

nice and self interest

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