Temple of Zagan

This is an experience I’ve had years ago, when I was very inexperienced with the occult.  The events took place over the course of somewhere around a year to several years.

As a man I would get sexual dreams once in a while, but normally the dreams would be somewhat random in nature, as dreams often are, and they would not be that common.  During the period of my life when I was dealing with this particular entity, I noticed that I seemed to get sexual dreams on a more regular basis.  More interestingly, these dreams were not as random as normal dreams, but rather had some common themes with each other.  They always featured a being who appeared like a somewhat attractive woman who would come by and have sex with me.  The appearance of this being is vague and blurry, but they always gave me the impression that it was an attractive human female.  It never spoke.

Over time I’ve gotten to be able to recognize this being when they show up in my dreams.  Despite their blurry and somewhat shifting appearance, they do have a certain vibe/smell (energetic signature if you want to use a fancy term) to them that I was able to identify them by.  For most of this time I allowed the interactions to happen.  As a man, I didn’t mind the idea of having sex, even if it was dream sex.  It got to a point where the being would show up in my dream, and I would take on a “Oh, it’s you again.  Fine, might as well~” attitude toward our interactions.

Eventually I noted more unusual matters with my dream companion.  There were a few times when we would be doing our business, and I would try to focus my sight and look at them carefully instead of just feeling the carnal sensations I experienced.  During these times I would notice that the being did not look completely like a woman, but rather some sort of creature.  Something with features more reminiscent of an insect or chubby worm, with a good bit of human features still showing through.  In one particular instance I had a partial awakening from the dream, and was in a paralyzed state akin to the one right before an astral projection, where I was aware of myself as being awake, realized that I was lying in bed in my bedroom, and saw/felt a great worm like beast, pale white in color, laying in my embrace as we engaged in intercourse.  These observations disturbed me, but I chalked them up to just dreams being funny.

As times went on I also noticed that the being would try to get something from me as we engaged in sex.  As if they were actively sucking or absorbing something from me.  It wasn’t an unpleasant sensation, but just one I noted as being very uncharacteristic and out of place, even in a dream.  As I noticed more instances of this behavior I grew more annoyed toward my “companion”, and eventually thought of these dream time rendezvous as something more than healthy, manly sex dreams.

My attitude toward these experiences soured; I no longer welcomed or consented to them, but they kept happening anyway.  Usually at this point, when the being does visit me again in a dream, it’s during times when I’m exhausted and can barely move even within the dream itself.  This differed from the way the dreams were in the beginning, where I would be able to move perfectly fine and was a happy and active participant in the activities.  Whether the entity intelligently picked times when I was exhausted and unable to fend for myself to visit, or caused the very conditions themselves, I will never know.

One thing I do know, however, was that I grew angry at the fact that these visits continued.

to be continued