Temple of Zagan

A pretty easily understood parable from one of the chans on how Israel has interacted with Palestine over the years:

Picture this scenario. You live in your mom’s basement. It’s shitty, but it is yours. I mean, officially it is owned by your mom, but you’re the only one to live there, you take care of it as much as you need, you run it, really it is yours.

Then, I convince your mom to just give me 20% of your basement. Neither I nor your mom consulted you on this. You still have your stuff all over the whole basement. So, I come downstairs with a gun, and force you to just get out of my way so I can take your stuff left in my 20%. Then, once I’m all settled in, living with and using your stuff, I claim that we need peace.

Now, of course I want peace, because I’ve already forcefully taken your stuff and much of your basement; peace benefits me, but not you.

You’ve seen me come in with a gun and take your shit, so you’re scared and angry. You have every right to fight back. So you buy a gun to protect yourself. You tell me to leave you alone. But I won’t go.

So we get in a fight. I actually was given a lot of weapons and support from my big brother, so it’s going to be a pretty one-sided fight. But you have big brothers too, and they see the shit I’ve put you through, so they offer to come down and fight on your behalf. Not to take anything of mine, just to get your stuff back. Not to kill me or all of my family, but just to push me out of the basement

But the weapons and my big brother’s support is too much, and I beat the shit out of your brothers. While I’m doing that, I just take over the whole basement.

But I’m a good guy, so when I’ve won the fight, I let you have 50% of the basement. I now have half the basement, and half of your stuff, but I gave you back the 50% that I didn’t have to, so I must be the good guy, right? Plus, I was just defending myself. I’m all about peace.

You’re pissed off. We try to talk it out, but I refuse to get out of your basement or give you all your stuff back. Eventually, as I am being ridiculously stubborn in this argument, you just get frustrated and hit me. You punch me right in the face.

Maybe you were in the wrong. Maybe violence isn’t the way. That’s arguable.

But, I say, “hey, I have to defend myself, right?”

So I shoot you in the gut. It seems like a terrible and stupid response to the magnitude of your attack, but it’s only self defense, right? And now you’re in pretty bad shape. But hey, I’m not a bad guy. I won’t let you get aid from outside by sending you to a hospital, but I’ll patch you up myself. It’s not life-threatening. You’re pretty weak.

You might have made a full recovery if I’d have let you get aid outside of our basement. But it’s pretty much my basement now, so I don’t have to. I’m a good guy, so I’ll make sure you don’t die, but I’m fine with you being so weak that I can push you into 25% of the basement. You can sit in the corner, “owning” your 25%, but I get to determine what stuff goes into your 25%. That’s right, I control the whole basement, but I’ll let you live on the 25%. The stuff that you have that I don’t like, I’ll just destroy it and replace it with my own stuff. The stuff you have that I like, I’ll just take.

This is what happens when you attack me. You are the aggressor, remember? I want peace, but I must keep myself safe, so I have to counter-attack. I was trying to have peace the whole time, remember?

Now, the neighbors hear about this situation and try to give me shit. Even your mom is claiming that I’m breaking the rules of the house. It’s okay, I’ll make them see it my way. I’m going to pay them not to call the police. I’m going to convince them that they shouldn’t talk about it. I’ll go around to everyone’s houses, and if they start talking about the situation in the basement, I’m going to yell that they hate me because I’m black. I’m so sick of this racism.

“Basement-anon attacked me, punched me right in the face when I only wanted peace, and now you talk shit about me? Of course, people have always talked shit about niggers. Why all the racism?”

Between peoples’ desires to not be seen as racist, plus the money I’m giving them not to call the police, plus the fact that your brothers are pretty beat up still… well, there’s nobody to protect you.

But, I know people are talking about me behind my back. I don’t want to be seen as the asshole of the neighborhood, so I’m going to offer you a peace deal. We can each
take half of the basement. That’s fair, right?

Since you are the terror-loving aggressor, and I am the peace-loving sane one here, I should determine the details of this situation. You get 50%, which is more than fair. I get 50%, and that includes the side of the basement which has the bathroom, shower, door, window, and most of the electrical outlets. But you get 50%, which is more than you had before, and you don’t even have to fight for it now. Can’t you see what a good guy I am?

What, you don’t agree to that? Why do you love violence? Why do you hate me so much?? Is it the color of my skin??? Not only am I going to pay the neighborhood not to call the police, I’m going to pay my big brother to threaten and fight all of your brothers until they stop supporting you. The day’s going to come when you realize that nobody will protect you, nobody will feed you, and you’ll just die out with no property to your name unless you accept my benevolent terms.

God, why do people hate me? Please explain, why do you hate people who try to defend their room from foreign invaders? Why is it wrong for me to try to influence conversations in the neighborhood while nobody else is blamed for these things?

That’s what led to the recent events and the start of a potential upcoming conflict.  I doubt Palestine will be able to do much to protect itself, but by the time the war is over, the world will likely never look at Israel and the Jewish people the same ever again.  The victimhood halo from the Holocaust can only last so long.

 

 

Original screen cap: