Recently I was discussing something related to Jeff Bezos and Amazon with other people when someone commented on his picture, which was available, “Why doesn’t he just fix his lazy eye? He’s got all that money”.
This question prompted some philosophical introspection on my part. It’s clear in many of Bezos’ pictures that his eyes appear uneven sized. Why would he not bother to fix it?
Fixing his eye would require surgery on a very delicate part of his body. There would be risks and definitely pain along with inconvenience. What would he get out of it in return? Would he look nicer and be more impressive to other people? He’s already a multi-billionaire. Not “just” one or two billion either, but over one hundred. If his hundreds of billions fail to impress somebody, having a slightly nicer face probably would not help. If someone otherwise would be impressed by him, but then decide not to due to his appearance, then they most likely are shallow and dumb as hell.
It boils down to the old adage of “Those who matter wouldn’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter”.
Would fixing his eye make him feel better about himself? He’s already a self made billionaire, one would imagine he’s already proven his own worth and abilities to himself many times over.
At the end of the day, Jeff Bezos would derive no advantage from “fixing” his appearance. He’s a multi-billionaire and does not give a fuck.
This leads me down an interesting path of thought. What does it take for a person to not give a fuck? It’s clear that most people in society does give a fuck. If they had a lazy eye like Jeff’s or some similar issue, they’d certainly hurry to try to fix it, and plenty would be willing to put themselves in debt to do so. What separates those who don’t give a fuck to those who do?
Does it really take over a billion bucks worth of net worth?
The answer’s no. Based on my own observation and experience, there’s two general conditions for people to get to the point where they give no fuck and can just walk around like a boss even with a lazy eye or a three day old 5 o’clock shadow and still be confident as hell.
The first thing that’s helpful is the ability to make income in a way that does not depend too much on judgement from and interactions with other people. For example if you run your own business online, or make a living as a landlord, you’d be well setup to not give a fuck. On the other hand, if you work in an office where you’re constantly judged on how you look, how professional you act with 3 different managers from across 2 different departments all doing the judging on ya, etc, then you’re very much NOT in a position to give no fuck.
It may sound asinine for me to point out, “durhur, get richer or work in a better place”, but recognizing that you’re in a bad environment or profession is very much the first step required in life for you to change it. A surprising number of people go through life tolerating a bad situation without ever trying to fix it.
This leads to the second condition required for someone to generally not give a fuck. To not give a fuck, one need to have a mentality where one considers themselves to be worthy and valuable – respectable. If you don’t think as yourself as inherently valuable, then you’ll constantly be trying to prove your worth to others – which you would do by giving a fuck and caring about whether you meet the standards that other people use to judge you. Not thinking of oneself as valuable also leads one to tolerate bad professional and financial situations (on top of others), which leads to financial dependence on other people, and further feeds into the vicious cycle of giving a fuck.
Believe it or not, changing your own mentality toward yourself is the easier of the two conditions. I did it the hard and dumb way. For most of my life I very much gave a fuck and worried over all sorts of things. I was miserable and sometimes didn’t even know why. A while after my retirement I realized that I was someone retired in their 30s, and that if I was not worthy, then surely, most people in society is not worthy. It’s as if that realization suddenly flipped a switch in my brain, and from then on I started acting with the assumption of “I am worthy” in my mind.
And god damn, did the world change. Just this one single change in my mentality changed the way I dealt with almost everything. As an example, I used to make sure I’m impeccably neat and well groomed whenever I went out, no matter where. After this realization, I grew comfortable going out without having shaved for the day or while wearing a comfortable, but somewhat frumpy outfit. At the end of the day, does it really matter whether the door greeter or my fellow shoppers at Wal-Mart think I look perfect or not? Does it matter if I impressed them? The answer’s no.
Only after I truly recognized myself as worthy have I stopped trying to impress most of the people I deal with; and only after I’ve stopped trying to impress almost everyone that I realize what a horrible burden it is, to always give a fuck about every little thing and worry over the impressions of people who doesn’t matter. Giving a fuck was like an invisible parasite that I wasn’t aware of, but constantly sapped my strength and happiness, and only after it was gone that I realized how big of an impact it made on my life.
I’m gone off track a bit. Back on topic. Do you really need to be Jeff Bezos or some retired millionaire to see yourself as worthy? Of course not. My change in mentality came from meeting, almost accidentally, the impossible standard set forth by the mind set of someone who still gave a fuck. It’s only after that I saw myself as worthy and stopped giving a fuck, that I realized you don’t need to meet whatever high standard society and socialization may have placed in your own mind to start respecting yourself.
You can start respecting yourself today, as you are right now, and treat yourself as someone valuable without needing to jump through mental hoops and meet impossibly high standards first – for the standards themselves are the by-product of a way of thinking that is harmful to you, one that you’re trying (hopefully) to get rid of. This is hard to see while you’re still living in a mindset where you give a fuck, but once you’ve moved away from that mindset it becomes clear as daylight. It’s as if that toxic mindset itself is a metaphorical maze that entraps you and makes it hard for you to see far ahead and understand your position in relation to your mental surroundings.
The good thing about adopting a mindset where you value yourself is that you become more assertive. When something bad happens to you, you’re more likely to speak up. If you see yourself stuck in a bad life situation or a bad profession, you’re more likely to try to change the situation instead of just quietly tolerating it – after all, allowing something bad to happen to a person, you, who you see as valuable is not something you would now tolerate. This would ultimately start a chain reaction where you start doing more to improve yourself and your life, and eventually lead to having the financial independence required to not give a fuck as well.
Long story short, Jeff Bezos walks around with that lazy eye of his because he respects himself and does not give a flying fuck. You, too, should respect yourself, and ultimately walk down the path of not giving a fuck as well.